$19.99 on Amazon
The Make-Out Room won first place for Best Humor Column from the National Newspaper Association.
328 pages, 123 stories
“David Porter is without question the finest newspaper columnist on the planet that I am aware of who is based in Tuscola, Illinois.”
— Pultizer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry
Large Print Edition Now Available --- 566 pages –$24.99
Hard back edition now available –$24.99
The regular edition also available on Barnes & Noble –$19.99
Sample chapters on issuu.com
CONTENTS
THE MARK OF A TRUE NEWSMAN
THE MAKE-OUT ROOM
THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE
A PLACE IN THE RACE
DATING TIPS
AN ANNIVERSARY TO REMEMBER
ANSWERING READERS’ QUESTIONS
A NIGHT IN THE CRATE
AN OPINIONATED OAF
POKER AND CIGARS
BLACK WIDOWS AND BELLY LAUGHS
A BIRD IN THE HAND
THE OL’ MAILBAG
MAKING THE MOST OF ADVERTISING
USEFUL INFORMATION
PROM IN A PANDEMIC
HOW TO WASTE TIME DURING A PANDEMIC
IF ODORS TOLD THE TRUTH
SIMILES AND METAPHORS
PERILS OF AGING
A DOG NAMED ‘ WELL ENOUGH’
THE SMART MONEY’S ON DUMB
AVOIDING THE PC POLICE
POCKETS VS PURSES
‘YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK’
WRITING AN ADVICE COLUMN
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE BROTHERHOOD
DUBIOUS INVENTIONS
THE BEST CLUB
PANDEMIC BLUES
THAT DIRTY BIRD
THAT DIRTY BIRD Part 2
YOU’RE AN IDIOM
TALKING POLITICS
TRADING NICE FOR FUNNY
A CHRISTMAS DILEMMA
A TOUCHY SUBJECT
A KNIGHT TO REMEMBER
THE BENEFIT OF A BAD CHOICE
LAZY CAVEMEN
PUNNY JOBS
CREATIVE MARKETING
SOFT ROCK CANDY
RESPONDING TO ‘ FAN MAIL’
WORST. PRESENT. EVER
MY THANKSGIVING BEEF
HAND-ME-DOWN UNDERWEAR
SHOWDOWN ON THE PLAYGROUND
REDECORATING ON THE CHEAP
A MESSAGE TO MY FORMER SELF
MISPELT WORDS
A COMPLICATED FIX
TATTOO TANGLE
THINGS YOU CAN’T SAY IN FLORIDA
TEN THOUGHTS ON THE NEWS
WRESTLING WITH POLITICS
HERDING CATS
MOWED DOWN
HARD-HEADED EDDIE
A SPOILED DOG
A LOOK INSIDE THE OL’ MAILBAG
WIFE LESSONS
THE PARTY DRESS
THINGS YOU DON’T DO IN FRONT OF YOUR WIFE
HONEST POLITICAL SLOGANS
SUNDRY SECRET CEREMONIES
BIG VINCE THE BALLET DANCER
A COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS
NOODLE FACE THEORY Jennie Part 1
TREADING CAREFULLY Jennie Part 2
OVER OR UNDER Jennie Part 3
REVENGE OF THE HAMMOCK
MY SECRET AMBITION
HEY, KID, LEAVE THEM TEACHERS ALONE
THE ACME 10,000 XLK
RESENTMENT, INDIGNATION & FISTICUFFS
PAYING BLOOD MONEY FOR MEMORIES
LET THEM EAT CAKE
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WEATHER
ANOTHER MEDICAL STUDY
REVOLT OF THE DISHWASHER
FEELING GASSY
SMOKIN’ THERAPY
A WEIRD DREAM
DEATH BECOMES ME
SNAPSHOT OF A SUCKER
ONE-ARM PUSH UPS
WHY GOD MADE GRANDKIDS
MY IDENTITY CRISIS
BACK IN THE DAY
NO PARKING ZONE
TAKING UP GOLF
RUMMAGE SALES
TOY STORY
DON’T MESS WITH PERFECTION
A NATURAL BORN LEADER
OMG.;S. LOL. SC
LONGING FOR A LUMPY BED
CELL PHONE APPS I’D LIKE TO SEE
KETCH-SUP AND KIDS
WHEN I’M GONE
LIVING IN CARTOON LAND
LESSONS IN AUTO MAINTENANCE
VISITING FATHER FIX-IT
UNREAD EMAILS
LET’S FACE IT
A FATHER’S DAY GIFT
MARTIAN MIMES MARCHING MADLY
A DYNAMIC DUMPSTER DIVER
RUNAWAY TRAIN
UNHEALTHY DENIAL
THIS IS ME TO A T
A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION
A TALE OF TWO TOOTHBRUSHES
THANKSGIVING ALONE
SHOOEY!
ADDICTIVE SHAMPOO
TRICK-OR-TREAT
DR. RAMBLIN’ MAN
TIMESHARE STRATEGY
CAUSES AND BENEFITS OF PROCRASTINATION
PROCRASTINATION Part 2
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